[ OH NO. I FORCED THE FISH MAN OUTSIDE. this is horrible. I'm sorry. this is probably triggering horrible cultural memories in him of a frozen zora kingdom. I'm sorry Sidon .........
lucien just looks down at his shoes and then back up. he looks healed, though he's pretty bundled up so maybe it's difficult to tell exactly. there's still the faint line of scratches on his face, but they look old now. ]
Only considering you might want to have two arms for future Thursdays.
[ there is generational trauma there about frozen zorasicles that for some reason seems to be a running problem in hyrule history, but we don't have to unpack that right now. despite being a bit sluggish, his spirits seem high enough—higher than this terrible weekend, at least.
[ well, that's good. truly nothing can keep sidon down, can it? he is actually kind of twinky so he does buckle a little under the force of that smack. ]
[ so many eyeballs, surely there's no symbolism here. sidon, for his part, is human. just kidding, enough flesh horrors—right now, the spots along the crest of his head and tail have turned bioluminescent, glowing in that unearthly ocean way. ]
Hm. I thought you would be a free spirit, which you are.
But it was a different type. You were less of your own agent, and more... [ incredibly bossy ] take-charge! The leader type. [ a little pause, gentler ] It makes sense to me now. Viktor did mention you might be.
[ i need you to know i googled human sidon and i don't know how to feel. a lot of flesh horrors.
lucien for his part just tilts his head, crossing his arms loosely, like he's ... trying to play off a sudden jolt of something or other. ]
You spoke about me?
[ suspicious. but then more relaxed: ]
I've a mercenary group, you could consider me the leader of. [ he says this off-hand but also in a way that clearly very much considers himself the leader without question. ] The Tombtakers. And a few others also starting to fall into the wings of that, if all plans move into place.
[ he isn't sure how he feels about that. the idea he's being spoken about and can't overhear the conversation makes him feel ... itchy. but he'll leave it to rest for now. ]
I don't have a family. Most of us came up in the Orders together - tends to be that way what with the running in the same circles, taking the same contracts. Birds of a feather and such. Otis, Tyffial, Zoran. Used to be Jurrell too, til her thieving caught up to her. Cree I've known longer. She came with me from the Run, used to run jobs together as rats. She'd follow me around most anywhere. And I followed Brev, til she wasn't around to follow anymore.
[ going to lean on something, hanging his thumbs into his pockets. ]
The others, we'll call them hangers-on. But useful ones, until they aren't.
He— [ he pauses, and lets the conversation carry on down a different stream. he'd like to tell lucien his thoughts on this someday, but—another juncture, perhaps. this is a better time to listen than to talk. ]
Quite the school of fish you'd collected. I don't know much of mercenaries—we rarely had any reason to call upon them. [ except one time, where all he had to do was ask really enthusiastically and link did the job completely for free. in any case, real merc work seems more cutthroat. ] It sounds as though you found each other through hardship. Though life as a Tombtaker doesn't sound easy either.
[ he doesn't want to make sidon sad after his very serious boyfriend just died that'd be rude. ]
School of fish. You do have a thing, don't you? [ he mostly just finds this amusing. as for the merc work - they are probably more family than he's making it sound. he talks with some distance, but these are his people, despite everything. after all, they did follow him as far as they all did for a reason. ] As for hardship, suppose so. Everything's a fuckin' hardship. It's all ... [ he waves a hand. on the eye on the back of it blinks. ] Cycles. Everyone got sick of the same damned cycles. You find a job to get a little gold and then it's gone on drink and dice, so you have to get a job to get a bit of gold to put into drink and dice. Pulling your boots out of the mud of the Run is as near impossible as a messenger showing up to tell you you've been elected the Emperor. We all saw a vision out.
anyway he already ignored what lucien was saying and assumed this was a family unit. he's sentimental. ]
All that struggle to stay treading in the very same murk... [ sidon is a prince from a fantastically beautiful kingdom, so maybe he can't say he gets it, it'd be presumptuous to assume he did. but he can sympathize. it's something for him to turn over seriously in his royal mind when he gets back to hyrule. ] Anyone would want for more. But not everyone has that sort of ambition! You were looking to change the world together.
[ this is not the first time that has been levied against him. at least the ambition is obvious. ]
I was close. I had-- obtained some allies, we'll say. I have a plan. I was on the way to finishing it, before I ended up here. Perhaps with the payment from this job, I can complete it.
[ you can use vikdon as your beard but i am a lucktor truther ]
If it's an ailment, it's one that plagues all kings. It would be difficult to claim you're a leader without it.
[ even a gentle prince has to have some ambition churning beneath their mildness—some drive to shape and change things in their own way (for the better, hopefully). ]
[ he raises ann eyebrow at kings and leader. he is aware that sidon is clearly some sort of ... boss, it has ruling on his profile, but the exact title I don't think he knows. ]
One where it is the way it should be, rather than the way it is. Whatever I can imagine.
[ he claps a hand on lucien's shoulder a moment, not just knocking him over into the snow this time. ]
Then I hope the world in your mind is a wonderful one.
[ his terms are very subjective—what it "should" be, what he imagines—but sidon's not the doubtful type. ]
And take care of yourself on the journey there. We were worried for you, back in that cemetery. [ when their only injury was from lucien having a Moment. in general he has some Not Okay vibes. ]
[ he is aware how concerning it sounds but he says so many concerning things in a day it's like. what's new.
fixing him with a look when sidon says that, but it's fine. ]
Used to dream of it. All the time, I would see it when I closed my eyes, exactly how we'd left her in that frozen, terrible place. So I suppose it's nothing new. All it means is this place can see inside our dreams, make them reality - or feel as if they are reality.
[ yes indeed this just continues to be concerning. things like death do get stuck up in the brain pan, ready to rattle loose into the blood at any moment, but still. his expression does not read like he finds this to be a fun factoid, solemn. ]
"Interesting" is a word for it? It could just drive us to madness, if we're not careful.
...I'm sorry you had to see her that way. It's difficult enough to heal and let those memories age, without these tricks and illusions. [ to him it is firmly not 'reality,' but it does feel that way, intentionally. ]
[ life's a little easier when you learn to accept absurdity. that much is true, at least. ]
Yes. Though—I don't think it's that the wound closes, or that the hole ever fills? Time is... distance. Age.
[ it's not that memories heal, it's that you get older around them. like a tree growing new rings out instead of filling in hollow pockets of wood. some people grow slowly. some people rot out. ]
In my meager experience, "healing" is not how much pain you feel, but how often you feel it—expanding your life into new pools to spend less time in old ones. ...If you're constantly reminded of something, you can't be expected to find much peace from it, no matter how many years have passed.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
lucien just looks down at his shoes and then back up. he looks healed, though he's pretty bundled up so maybe it's difficult to tell exactly. there's still the faint line of scratches on his face, but they look old now. ]
Only considering you might want to have two arms for future Thursdays.
no subject
he gives him a friendly smack on the shoulder. ]
Oh, no need to be coy anymore! We were a team!
no subject
Are we ... ?
[ he doesn't objecting that hard. ]
no subject
We are! Or does it not feel that way, when I'm not calling you Junker?
[ there might be a note of amusement there. ]
You're quite different to work with than I expected.
no subject
[ his eye twitches when he's called Junker. The eye on his face and the eye on the side of his neck and the one on the back of his hand. ]
What would you have expected? Consider me curious.
no subject
Hm. I thought you would be a free spirit, which you are.
But it was a different type. You were less of your own agent, and more... [ incredibly bossy ] take-charge! The leader type. [ a little pause, gentler ] It makes sense to me now. Viktor did mention you might be.
no subject
lucien for his part just tilts his head, crossing his arms loosely, like he's ... trying to play off a sudden jolt of something or other. ]
You spoke about me?
[ suspicious. but then more relaxed: ]
I've a mercenary group, you could consider me the leader of. [ he says this off-hand but also in a way that clearly very much considers himself the leader without question. ] The Tombtakers. And a few others also starting to fall into the wings of that, if all plans move into place.
no subject
We did, for a bit.
[ he smiles, good-natured, if sad. this weekend is not very far behind them. ]
...So you're recruiting quite an army for yourself, then! Or is it more of a family unit?
no subject
[ he isn't sure how he feels about that. the idea he's being spoken about and can't overhear the conversation makes him feel ... itchy. but he'll leave it to rest for now. ]
I don't have a family. Most of us came up in the Orders together - tends to be that way what with the running in the same circles, taking the same contracts. Birds of a feather and such. Otis, Tyffial, Zoran. Used to be Jurrell too, til her thieving caught up to her. Cree I've known longer. She came with me from the Run, used to run jobs together as rats. She'd follow me around most anywhere. And I followed Brev, til she wasn't around to follow anymore.
[ going to lean on something, hanging his thumbs into his pockets. ]
The others, we'll call them hangers-on. But useful ones, until they aren't.
no subject
Quite the school of fish you'd collected. I don't know much of mercenaries—we rarely had any reason to call upon them. [ except one time, where all he had to do was ask really enthusiastically and link did the job completely for free. in any case, real merc work seems more cutthroat. ] It sounds as though you found each other through hardship. Though life as a Tombtaker doesn't sound easy either.
no subject
School of fish. You do have a thing, don't you? [ he mostly just finds this amusing. as for the merc work - they are probably more family than he's making it sound. he talks with some distance, but these are his people, despite everything. after all, they did follow him as far as they all did for a reason. ] As for hardship, suppose so. Everything's a fuckin' hardship. It's all ... [ he waves a hand. on the eye on the back of it blinks. ] Cycles. Everyone got sick of the same damned cycles. You find a job to get a little gold and then it's gone on drink and dice, so you have to get a job to get a bit of gold to put into drink and dice. Pulling your boots out of the mud of the Run is as near impossible as a messenger showing up to tell you you've been elected the Emperor. We all saw a vision out.
no subject
anyway he already ignored what lucien was saying and assumed this was a family unit. he's sentimental. ]
All that struggle to stay treading in the very same murk... [ sidon is a prince from a fantastically beautiful kingdom, so maybe he can't say he gets it, it'd be presumptuous to assume he did. but he can sympathize. it's something for him to turn over seriously in his royal mind when he gets back to hyrule. ] Anyone would want for more. But not everyone has that sort of ambition! You were looking to change the world together.
no subject
Ambition has always been my disease.
[ this is not the first time that has been levied against him. at least the ambition is obvious. ]
I was close. I had-- obtained some allies, we'll say. I have a plan. I was on the way to finishing it, before I ended up here. Perhaps with the payment from this job, I can complete it.
no subject
If it's an ailment, it's one that plagues all kings. It would be difficult to claim you're a leader without it.
[ even a gentle prince has to have some ambition churning beneath their mildness—some drive to shape and change things in their own way (for the better, hopefully). ]
What sort of world is it you're envisioning?
no subject
One where it is the way it should be, rather than the way it is. Whatever I can imagine.
no subject
Then I hope the world in your mind is a wonderful one.
[ his terms are very subjective—what it "should" be, what he imagines—but sidon's not the doubtful type. ]
And take care of yourself on the journey there. We were worried for you, back in that cemetery. [ when their only injury was from lucien having a Moment. in general he has some Not Okay vibes. ]
no subject
... It isn't the first time I've seen her like that, and I've doubts it will be the last.
no subject
Do you know how concerning that sounds...? [ has he seen a doctor about it. ] You mean as some sort of ghost of your past?
no subject
fixing him with a look when sidon says that, but it's fine. ]
Used to dream of it. All the time, I would see it when I closed my eyes, exactly how we'd left her in that frozen, terrible place. So I suppose it's nothing new. All it means is this place can see inside our dreams, make them reality - or feel as if they are reality.
And that's interestin', isn't it?
no subject
"Interesting" is a word for it? It could just drive us to madness, if we're not careful.
...I'm sorry you had to see her that way. It's difficult enough to heal and let those memories age, without these tricks and illusions. [ to him it is firmly not 'reality,' but it does feel that way, intentionally. ]
no subject
[ does it? anyway, he does look up at him when he says that second part. not the first time he's heard that advice. ]
And? In your experience, does the memory aging make it "heal"?
no subject
Yes. Though—I don't think it's that the wound closes, or that the hole ever fills? Time is... distance. Age.
[ it's not that memories heal, it's that you get older around them. like a tree growing new rings out instead of filling in hollow pockets of wood. some people grow slowly. some people rot out. ]
In my meager experience, "healing" is not how much pain you feel, but how often you feel it—expanding your life into new pools to spend less time in old ones. ...If you're constantly reminded of something, you can't be expected to find much peace from it, no matter how many years have passed.